Lady Love: Sex & The Art of Foreplay

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by Rebekah Sager

Ok ladies,getting the pilot light lit, the mood set, and the proverbial juices flowing–we’re talking foreplay.

Everyone needs a little time to get warmed up. Even though men may appear as if they can hardly wait another moment to dig into the main course, a recent study from the University of New Brunswick, Canada shows that women assume their partners wanted at the most 13 minutes of foreplay tops, while lo and behold, men actually reported wanted more like 18—it seems everyone needs an appetizer to wet the tastebuds.

So, here are a few tips both you and your man can use BEFORE you open Pandora’s box.
Start setting up sexy-time early. Sending love notes, texts, or emails, leaving post-its or sexy voice mails, it’s 2013 people the set-up can be delivered in a plethora of modalities. Foreplay is about imagining just how hot it’s all going to be way ahead of time. Wearing foundation garments that make you feel sexy, shaving your legs, working out, grooming the kitty, taking whatever steps you need to take to feel your sexiest is all part of foreplay.

Kissing is the most intimate act a couple can engage in. It’s the fire that sets the mood and tone of what’s to come. A kiss is never just a kiss, it says a million little words and communicates to your partner what you’re thinking.

Ask your man to undress you slowly, and you should do the same. When it comes to getting things going in the bedroom, it’s all about the an-tic-i-pa-tion and spontaneity—no GPS necessary. He needs to leave you a bit curious about where his hands are going next. You’re on a need to know basis. But you can always give subtle directional hints, making sure to keep things flexible for unanticipated surprises. Have him use each layer of clothing as another opportunity to make you squirm.

Talk isn’t cheap and it can be fun. A few well-placed compliments mixed with some racy innuendo, spoken softly in your ear, goes into the brain and quickly lubricates the body. It’s a balance, of soft and rough. Allow your man to take control a bit, as long as you’re both in agreement. Not forceful (necessarily), but listen to what positions he’d like, whether he wants your eyes open or closed etc..
Take the euphemistic bus downtown. This is something most women and men enjoy and really is the standard aperitif of foreplay. For some women, it’s the main course, but lucky for most, it’s like potato chips—pretty tasty served anytime.

You can leave your hat on…or your heels. Ladies, we’ve made mad strides at the office. We’re crashing through glass ceilings and making our mark on the world, but sex is simple, and something’s are timelessly sexy; one of them is a sexy pair of heels. Leave them on and see what happens.

With most things the build-up often better than the event, and foreplay is a great example. When people talk about sexual intimacy, this is what they’re talking about. The dance a couple plays, the show of affection and communication that the person you’re with and about to have intercourse with means a lot to you—so much in fact that you want to please them, turn them on, and make them want you so much, that by the time they have you they want you even more than they thought.

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